


he's a grump and she's not so grump

by RidleyDidley (orphan_account)



Category: Homestuck
Genre: F/M, Gen, Highschoolstuck, Housewife Karkat, Humanstuck, Pale Romance | Moirallegiance, Platonic Romance, Romantic Friendship, Urban Explorer Aradia, i think, in this universe they're really close, pesterlogs, rule of fun reigns here, somehow they ended up in a Moirallegiance despite the fact that they're humans, the plot is silly
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-09-15
Updated: 2013-09-15
Packaged: 2017-12-26 15:05:05
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,771
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/967364
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/RidleyDidley
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>As long as anyone could remember, Karkat and Aradia being together was a universal constant. Which made it weird how they refuse to date each other. Even though they're basically married at this point.</p>
            </blockquote>





	he's a grump and she's not so grump

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Anon_H](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Anon_H/gifts).



> At long last, my gift has been delivered as promised and boy golly, this was a challenging little nugget to write out! No matter how hard I tried, I could not make a believable redrom using them. But pale on the other hand...
> 
> Anyway, please enjoy! :)

  
][ /V\ 69 ][  


“Aradia, do you ever feel like there's something objectively _off_ about us being friends?”

 

“I'm kinda busy right now Karkat,” Aradia muttered tiredly at her homework, although she does eventually humor her friend by giving him a upside down glance from her laid out position on her bed. Her giant mane of curly dark brown hair surrounded her head like a halo against the tinted red cover of the bed sheet.

 

Wait, was Karkat being philosophical again?

 

“What are you talking about?” Aradia said, giving Karkat a strange look.

 

The stout boy fidgeted with his usual anxiousness at his friends curious glare. “I'm not saying that I don't appreciate our... thing, but does it ever strike you as a weird one? Like, fuck I don't know,” Karkat scratched his head, “Like we're supposed to be closer to other people but something broke in the abstract clock of fate and we ended up together in this metaphorical pile of hugs and cuddles? Or something like that?”

 

Well, yeah they were weird but not _that weird_. Karkat was the wannabe jerk with the heart of gold and she was the crazy parkour chick with a devil may cry attitude. There were weirder rumored pairings in the school, like John &Dave. Now, _that_ shit sure was weird. Were they even gay?

 

Aradia continued her blank stare. Than, she made her token ethereal smile and almost whispered, “Are you saying we should friend see other people? Because I'm not sure my maiden heart could take that.”

 

Karkat, like the giant wound up ball of stress he was, almost blew up in panic. “Wait, no! I didn't say we should friend breakup!” He stared at her glowingly amused eyes in growing horror. “That's literally what I just said, wasn't it!? What the blistering hell is wrong with me!? Aradia, don't friend leave me!”

 

Aradia promptly stood up and left the comfy confines of her scruffy but oh so comfortable bed to walk to her over thinking friend in her usual ghostlike manner homed only after years of rigorous forays into the bowels of old factories and deserted churches.

 

Karkat could be such a handful sometimes. Aradia couldn't help but smile as he stood rigid next to the her sizable Tomb Raider collection and junior's explorer satchel of awesomeness where she stored all her climbing gear. 

 

The short boy in question mutely screeched to himself as she wrapped her muscular arms around his neck in a comforting manner. “Karkat, do you like being my friend? My best friend?” The bedroom, already witness to many a 'feelings jam' as they called it, felt even more warm and cozy than ever.

 

Karkat nodded quickly and hugged her back tightly muttering a “Yes” to her neck. He smelled like seafood and laundry detergent and paper which contrasted completely with how she smelled like: mud, rain, rotting plaster, and rusty steel.

 

He _really_ needed to learn how to relax.

 

“Then how about you use your mind for something more useful and help me out with _our_ homework instead of thinking of stupid things like the validity of our match up, okay? You're better at challenges that use the mind compared to me.”

 

Than, to make sure she got his attention, she impishly pinched his butt. 

 

Karkat screamed.

 

Aradia laughed.

 

Kankri sensed everything two blocks down and prayed for his little brother's chastity.

  
][ /V\ 69 ][  


\-- carcinoGeneticist [CG] began pestering apocalypseArisen [AA] at 7:23 --  
  
CG: WHY IN THE NAME OF ALL THE FUCKS ACROSS THIS FUCKING GALAXY RULED BY THE SUPERIOR FUCK OF ALL FUCKS IN THE ENTIRE CONCEPT OF FUCKITUDE DID YOU DO THAT TO OUR SON?!  
AA: and good morning to you too Karkat!   
AA: did you have a good nights sleep? 0u0  
CG: DEAR LORD, YOU'RE A MONSTER!  
CG: YOU HAVE NO IDEA JUST HOW MUCH I WANT TO MAGICALLY WARP MYSELF THROUGH THE COMPUTER MONITOR AND VIOLENTLY NFL TACKLE YOU TO NEXT TUESDAY FOR THIS BULLSHIT!  
CG: SHIT, WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!  
CG: YOU WRAPPED *OUR* DARLING SON IN SCOTCH TAPE LIKE A FUCKING MUMMY!  
AA: well it keeps making these stupid digital baby crying noises  
AA: the dumb doll wouldnt shut up and i wanted to sleep!  
CG: THAT'S NO EXCUSE YOU EVIL PILE OF BABYHATING!  
AA: besides i cant explore while carrying it along can i   
CG: THERE YOU GO AGAIN! CALLING OUR BELOVED CHILD A "IT" LIKE A BEAST!  
CG: DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE ENTIRE FUCKING POINT OF THIS EXERCISE?  
CG: YOU ARE TO LOVE THE CHILD AND TREAT IT AS ONE OF YOUR OWN!  
CG: WHEN WE GET FRIEND MARRIED AT EIGHTEEN, I WILL NEVER LET YOU TAKE CARE OF ANY OF OUR CHILDREN!  
CG: YOU CAN SIT ON A COUCH AND LIKE HOMER SIMPSON BE A GENERALLY USELESS SACK OF NOT-KILLING-KIDS SHIT!  
CG: HOLY MOTHER OF THE VIRGIN MARY AM I PISSED OFF!!!  
CG: WHAT DO YOU HAVE TO SAY FOR YOURSELF!?  
AA: *swoooooon*  
AA: you complete me vantas. :)  
  
\-- carcinoGeneticist [CG] blocked apocalypseArisen [AA] --  
\-- carcinoGeneticist [CG] changed his mood to RANCOROUS --  
  
AA: :P  


  
][ /V\ 69 ][  


“Annyywwaaay. I made you lunch. You better fucking appreciate it.”

 

“Aw, Karkat. You shouldn't hav...hot damn. Wow.” Aradia's eyes bulged.

 

“AA? Whatth wrong?...dude, holy thhit.” Sollux stared in shock.

 

“Uh, wow. That's really, uh, elaborate.” Tavros muttered mutely in similar shock.

 

“HEHEHEHEHE!” Terezi shrieked out in mirth.

 

“Oh! Em! Gee! Is that what I think it is?!” Feferi practically bounced on her chair in glee as she saw what Karkat had on his hands.

 

Aradia quietly received the angry boy's gift as he looked away in flushed embarrassment. Opening the lid, she saw a violent and sloppy landscape of shredded lamb, baby tomatoes, and pickled rice greet her. It appeared to be an attempted reenactment of her favorite scene from The Fugitive. The bushy haired girl could swear she was looking at a shockingly coherent figure of Harrison Ford molded in smashed rice complete with a 'I didn't kill my wife' written in small strips of red bell pepper.

 

“Karkat, did you make me a Harrison Ford themed bento lunch all by yourself?” She asked in stunned awe. Karkat fidgeted and shifted his weight from leg to leg. Everyone else on the table stared in growing curiosity.

 

Eventually, he almost whispered out,“Today is the day we first met ten years ago.” 

 

Almost the entire cafeteria, by now watching the exchange, grasped their chests in the sheer cuteness of it all. It was too much feels to handle all at once.

 

Aradia blinked owlishly. “It is?” The whole student body shifted their eyes to her in disbelief. She at least had the decency to looked embarrassed.

 

Luckily for her, Karkat was used to her placid eccentricities by now.

 

“Well, it's our friendship anniversary and all,” He continued unabated and in a firmer voice, “and your crazy sister offered to teach me. Do...do you like it?” Aradia gave the nervous boy a beaming smile, “I love it!” Karkat's shoulders visibly relaxed in relief.

 

“It lookth like macerated crap.” Sollux remarked casually. Aradia gave the bespectacled nerd a piercing glare even before Karkat registered the comment. “Sollux, hush. It's the thought that counts. I don't see you getting me any gifts today. After all, you and Karkat were together when you first met me. Karkat, put that down.” 

 

Sollux twisted his head to see Karkat about to throw a soda to his face. He stuck his tongue and Karkat glared in a manner he hoped looked menacing. 

 

“Well, I think that is adorable! I want one too!” Feferi practically screamed out. Sollux paled and attempted to crawl away to a safer distance but Feferi glomped him before he could make his escape. “Sollux, why haven't you me a friendship bento lunch!?” Sollux struggled to breath in the python like grip. 

 

“Karkles, I'm shocked and appalled! I don't remember you ever making me any homemade food art during all our years of will-they-or-won't-they love! Wouldn't you say this was...unjust?” Karkat's eyes took on a hard glint as he stared down the blind girl. 

 

“For your information Pynope, I have know Ms. Megido here for much longer than you, hence she gets my hard earned treat. Also, unlike you, she is not a cold and calculating shrew.”

 

“Gasp! What is coming out of your mouth are baseless accusations and that is not appropriate in the court of law! You will be held in contempt for this!”Aradia looked at how they were both openly smirking now and decided Karkat could take care of himself this time around. She was also very hungry and wanted to get her lunch on.

 

“Tho KK, when do I get my invitation to the wedding?” Sollux mockingly added which Karkat hotly retorted with a fast, “When I stuff my foot up your ass you giant bag of old cocks! I told you already that me and Aradia are not like that!” Sollux stared and after a moment cheekily replied, “You would know the difference between old and new cockth huh.”

 

Aradia was chewing on her new lunch too happily to intervene in the ensuring wrestling match.

 

Sollux won but only after he gave Karkat a wet willy.

 

Sollux gave Feferi a greasy PB&J sandwich with a sticker of a octopus in it. Feferi loved it.

  
][ /V\ 69 ][  


\-- apocalypseArisen [AA] began pestering carcinoGeneticist [CG] at 17:13 --  
  
AA: karkat im so sorry!  
AA: i dont know what came over me in gym  
AA: i knew the popped ball wasnt your fault but i have been having a really stressful week and i took it out on you and im sorry  
AA: hello?  
CG: FINE.  
AA: are you okay  
CG: GO ON AND PROSTRATE YOURSELF IN GUILT BEFORE ME AND MAYBE I WILL FORGIVE YOU.  
AA: what the hell is your problem?  
CG: YOUR ACTIONS REQUIRE MORE THAN JUST AN EXCUSE OF A *BAD WEEK* AND YOU FUCKING KNOW IT.  
AA: fine you vindictive asshole  
AA: im having my period  
CG: HMMM.  
AA: dont you hmmm me  
CG: FUCKING HHHHHHHHMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM.  
AA: stop it! >:0  
AA: its just so hard!  
AA: first everything hurts like hell  
AA: and i mean everything  
AA: i cry like every five minutes about anything really  
AA: everyone in school sounds stupider than normal  
AA: and i hate the world  
AA: but than later i just want to fuck anything that moves  
AA: its just  
AA: whats wrong with me? :(  
CG: CONGRATULATIONS ARADIA.  
CG: YOU HAVE FINALLY ENTERED THE SACRED SISTERHOOD THAT IS BEING A HUMAN WITH FUCTIONAL OVARIES.  
CG: DON'T WORRY YOUR PRETTY VIRGIN HEART OVER THIS.  
CG: AS FAR AN I'M CONCERNED, IT'S ALL WATER UNDER THE BRIDGE.  
AA: really?  
CG: HELL NO!  
AA: huh?  
CG: THIS FRIDAY WAS HELL FOR ME ARADIA.  
CG: AND I THINK DRASTIC MEASURES ARE NEEDED TO PREVENT FURTHER...INCIDENTS.  
AA: now youre overreacting!  
CG: YOU SET MY SNEAKERS ON FIRE!  
AA: well you didnt get hurt right  
AA: so everything fine  
CG: YOU SLAPPED VRISKA IN THE FACE AND GOT ME A DETENTION WHEN I TRIED TO STOP HER FROM KICKING YOUR ASS!  
AA: that was worth it and you know i would win in a fight between me and her  
CG: FOR MY OWN PERSONAL SANITY, I DISAGREE WITH THAT SENTIMENT.  
CG: IN FACT, I ANTICIPATED THAT YOUR BIOLOGY MIGHT BE THE CAUSE FOR YOUR RECENT WOES AND HAVE TAKEN THE LIBERTY OF CALLING OUR RESPECTIVE SIBLINGS TO GIVE THEIR OWN FEEDBACK INTO YOUR PLIGHT.  
AA: what  
\-- cancelledGentrification [CG2] began pestering carcinoGeneticist [CG]at 17:20 --  
\-- aiboAbuni [AA2] began pestering carcinoGeneticist [CG]at 17:20 --  
AA: oh you motherfucker  
AA2: SISTER  
AA2: WHAT BOTHERING YOU  
AA2: IS IT BLOODY VAGINA o(｀ω´*)o  
AA: NO  
AA: LEAVE NOW PLEASE  
AA2: ψ(｀∇´)ψ  
CG2: N9w, n9w. There is n9 need f9r such filthy language in this chatr99m.   
CG2: As resp9nsi6le y9uth, I feel that a calm and c9llected resp9nse w9uld 6e m9st app9priate for this c9mm9n pr96lem facing 9ur mutual friend here.  
CG2: N9w Ms. Megid9, have y9u gained the pr9per utensils f9r this c9nditi9n? Fr9m the 9nline links I c9uld find, there seemed t9 6e a consensus that exercise and her6al tea pr9ved to 6e incredi6ly effective in alleviating the c9mm9n sympt9ms that y9u seem to 6e suffering fr9m.  
CG2: That being indiscriminate 6l99dlust and n9rmal lust that is f9rcused m9stly 9n my little 6r9ther.   
CG2: #tw: underage sexual relati9ns, menti9ns of 6l99d l9ss.  
AA: omfg  
AA2: WHEN PUSSY HURTS I SEE [THIS](http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=v21iDJeWfVE%20)  
AA2: ALWAYS MAKES ME FEEL BETTER  
CG2: ...  
CG2: 9h my.  
CG2: Damara!  
CG2: This is very triggering and it displeases me greatly!  
AA2: LOVE YOU TOO VIRGIN BOY  
AA2: (ღ˘⌣˘ღ)  
CG2: N9ne 9f y9u click the link!  
AA2: I BE NICE. NOT LINK TO OFFICIAL VIDEO  
CG: DAMARA, YOU'RE MY NEW FAVORITE FRIEND.  
CG: NEVER HAS SOMETING SO HORRIFIC BEEN SO APPROPRIATE IN SUCH A WELL DESERVED CHAT SUCH AS THIS.  
AA2: I HAPPY YOU HAPPY SMALLER VIRGIN BOY   
AA2: (/^▽^)/  
CG: (∩▂∩)  
AA2: ≖‿≖  
CG: (°∀°)b  
AA: okay wow  
AA: thats it  
AA: fuck you karkat  
AA: and the rest of you too  
AA: >:(  
  
\-- apocalypseArisen [AA] blocked carcinoGeneticist [CG] \--  
\-- apocalypseArisen [AA] blocked aiboAbuni [AA2] \--  
\-- apocalypseArisen [AA] blocked cancelledGentrification [CG2]\--  
\-- apocalypseArisen [AA] changed her mood to RANCOROUS --  
  
CG: WORTH IT.  
CG: (:<B  
AA2: (︶ω︶)  
CG2: Drat, she didn't give me time t9 p9st the health links I had prepared.  


  
][ /V\ 69 ][  


“Yeah, let's never do that again.” Aradia said to herself as she dragged her tired form up the stairs.

 

Her hair was soaked in green slime, her dress smelled like dog slobber, and everything ached. Aradia could not remember the last time she felt this shitty. Maybe the time she and Sollux stole Vriska's pet spider and accidentally killed it while writing the ransom note? That really, really sucked. Or maybe the time she slipped into a raw sewage line while attempting to swing across a shaft in one of her nightime journeys? 

 

...

 

Nope, this was still shittier. This occasion had the uniquely rancid flavor of romantic failure emitting from it like the smell of rotten meat.

 

Dammit, she actually sorta liked Equius! He would not have been _that_ bad of a boyfriend!

 

Karkat was going to be _livid_ when he found out.

 

But he was the only one she could trust not to blather out the entire disaster like a gossiping chicken to the whole school. And also, he could be a sweetheart when he put his mind to it. So really, talking to her best friend was kinda inevitable at this point.

 

The moment she was done in the shower, she almost ran to her bedroom and logged in. 

 

She needed a shoulder to cry on and _fast_.

 

\-- apocalypseArisen [AA] began pestering carcinoGeneticist [CG] at 19:53 --  
  
AA: wow karkat  
AA: you would not believe the saturday i just had  
AA: it was absolutely awful   
AA: i dont blame equius but  
AA: wow is he awkward   
AA: Karkat?  
AA: please show up  
AA: i just had the worst date ever and i need someone to talk too right now  
AA: i just feel so icky   
AA: ugh so much sweat everywhere  
AA: karkat are you there?  
AA: :(  
CG: THIS IS GRADE A BULLSHIT RIGHT HERE.  
CG: I CANNOT BELIEVE THE WORDS I AM HEARING.  
CG: I LITERALLY CANNOT *BELIEVE* THAT YOUR LATE NIGHT OUTING WITH MR.HI-I-LOVE-SNIFFING-HORSE-COCK WENT POORLY!  
CG: FUCKING UNIMAGINABLE!  
AA: :P  
AA: hi karkat!  
AA: you have no idea how glad i am to hear your completely unnecessary yet endearing rants at my person right now!  
AA: but could you save the venom for later?  
AA: i kinda had a really shitty day okay  
AA: i know i should have listened to your warnings  
AA: but i wanted to give equius a chance   
CG: AND THAT WENT SPECTACULARLY WELL FOR YOU, HUH.  
CG: JUST THROW MY CAREFULLY SELECTED ADVICE INTO THE CURB LIKE A USED PERIOD PAD AND THAN COME CRYING BACK TO ME!  
CG: BECAUSE THAT'S ALL I DO RIGHT?  
CG: I JUST SIT HERE TO FIX ALL YOUR LITTLE EMOTIONAL BOOBOOS WHENEVER YOU NEED A PICK-ME-UP, AMIRITE???   
CG: BECAUSE, LORD FORBID ANYONE EVER CARES ABOUT MY OPINIONS!  
AA: ...  
AA: Karkat look just  
AA: please  
AA: you can chew me out later but let me get this off my chest first  
AA: alright?  
AA: and than after that, we talk about your issues  
AA: and dont fucking deny it  
AA: i know theres something besides equius thats bothering you  
CG: HAHA, WHAT ISSUES?  
CG: I'M MORE COOLER THAN A CUCUMBER IN THE NORTH POLE.  
CG: YEP NOTHING WRONG WITH ME.  
AA: shut up karkat  
AA: i know you   
AA: youre acting more assholish than usual   
AA: i have no idea whats wrong but youre going to tell me one way or the other  
AA: i dont know why youre hesitating so much  
AA: weve known each other since like EVER  
AA: but fine dont trust me  
CG:  
CG:  
AA: ...  
AA: this is your cue to interrupt me and spill out your secrets  
CG:   
AA: well  
CG: ...  
CG: ARADIA.  
CG: LOOK, I'M SORRY.  
CG: I IN FACT DID HAVE A UNUSUALLY SHITTY WEEKEND.  
AA: wow really  
CG: AND CONSIDERING WHAT JUST HAPPENED TO YOU.  
CG: NOW IS A GOOD TIME AS EVER TO SAY IT.  
AA: :I  
AA: and that would be?  
CG: ME AND TEREZI BROKE UP.  
AA: 0_0  
AA: um  
AA: how the flipping pancakes did i not hear about this before now  
CG: WITH A LOT OF EFFORT I ASSURE YOU.  
AA: and why did you go through all the trouble to hide this from me?!  
CG: I FELT ASHAMED.  
AA: and why would you feel ashamed?  
CG: BECAUSE I'M SUPPOSED TO BE A ROMANCE GURU PRODIGY.  
CG: IT'S LIKE MY FUCKING JOB, OKAY?  
CG: PEOPLE COME TO ME AND I GIVE AWESOME ADVICE THAT ALWAYS WORK.  
CG: IT'S THE ONE THING I'M GOOD AT AND DON'T REGULARLY FUCK UP.  
CG: BUT I GUESS THAT'S PROVEN TO BE TOTALLY FALSE NOW WITH RECENT SHITTY EVENTS ON HAND.  
CG: WHAT KIND OF DATING MASTER AM I WHEN I CAN'T EVEN MAINTAIN A RELATIONSHIP OF MY OWN?  
AA: oh boy its worse than i feared  
AA: youre taking this really hard aren't you  
CG: MY HEART WAS RIPPED OFF, STRIPPED OF ALL REMAINING WARMTH, AND INCINERATED IN A LOVELY FURNACE POWERED BY BAD JUDGMENTS AND SILLY PREMISES.   
CG: CURRENT CURE?  
CG: A BUCKETFUL OF DIABETES INDUCING FROZEN DESSERT, A BOX OF TISSUES, AND THE COLLECTED ASHES OF MY HOPES AND DREAMS.  
CG: THAT HAS BEEN MY WONDERFUL AS SHIT WEEKEND.  
CG: SO IN A VERY TEENY WEENY WAY, I DO KNOW HOW YOU FEEL RIGHT NOW.  
CG: AND IT REALLY, REALLY, FUCKING SUCKS.  
AA: ...shit karkat  
AA: im so sorry  
CG: SIGH.  
CG: WOW WE REALLY ARE HOPELESS, AREN'T WE?  
CG: WHY THE FUCK CAN'T WE FIND SO'S WILLING TO PUT UP WITH US?  
CG: COME ON, YOU AND ME AREN'T THAT BAD, RIGHT?  
AA: extreme difficulty in find dates aside  
AA: are you feeling better  
CG: ACTUALLY YEAH.  
CG: WOW, THAT FELT MORE RELIEVING THAN I THOUGHT IT WOULD.  
CG: AND NOW I FEEL LIKE SHIT FOR NOT BEING A BETTER FRIEND TO YOU.  
CG: I SHOULD HAVE PESTERED YOU THE SECOND I GOT BACK HOME A WEEK AGO LIKE YOU DID.  
CG: I'M SORRY.  
AA: :)  
AA: it would appear that we both could use some comfort right about now  
CG: ...  
CG: THAT WOULD BE PLEASANT YES.  
AA: so how will we do this  
CG: YOU KNOW WHAT?  
CG: WE'RE BOTH TEENAGERS AND IN ANGST RIDDEN MOURNING.  
CG: OUR PARENTS WILL BE LENIENT ON US IF WE DO SOMETHING STUPID AND OUTRAGEOUS.  
AA: karkat?  
CG: STEAL SOME BOTTLES FROM YOUR SISTER'S RUM STASH AND COME TO MY PLACE.  
AA: woah :0  
CG: WE ARE GETTING SHITFACED TONIGHT AND DAMN THE CONSEQUENCES.  
CG: I'LL MAKE SOME PIÑA COLADAS WITH THE TINY LITTLE UMBRELLAS ON PINEAPPLE SLICES.   
CG: JUST HOW YOU LIKE IT.  
CG: AND BECAUSE I'M SUCH A EXCELLENT BRO OF ALL BROS, I'LL EVEN PITCH IN WITH SOME BAGS OF GERMAN PRETZELS MY BROTHER BROUGHT FROM BOSTON FOR YOU.  
CG: THAT'S HOW MUCH YOU MEAN TO ME MEGIDO.  
CG: I'M GIVING YOU STALE PRETZELS WITH RUM.  
AA: oh gosh i love old pretzels with alcohol :D  
CG: WE WILL EVEN WEAR THOSE STUPID-AS-SHIT HAWAIIAN T-SHIRTS YOU LOVE SO MUCH.   
AA: XD  
CG: FUCK IT, LET'S GO FULL OUT WITH THE TIKI BAR THEME.  
CG: WHEN YOU COME TO MY HOME, THERE WILL BE LIT BAMBOO PAGAN SHRINES AS FAR AS THE EYE CAN SEE.  
CG: STRAW HATS WILL BE MANDATORY.  
CG: EXCEPT FOR ME.  
CG: MY USUAL IRONCLAD SENSE OF OUTWARD DIGNITY IS CURRENTLY BROKEN BEYOND REPAIR AT THE MOMENT.  
CG: IT WILL REGENERATE IN DUE TIME SO I MUST TAKE ADVANTAGEOUS OF THE MOMENT.  
CG: ARADIA, I WILL BE WEARING A STRAPPED ON LAVA LAMP ON MY HEAD WHEN I GREET YOU.  
CG: BECAUSE I'M A FREAK BITCH BABY.  
AA: omg :'D  
CG: AND WE'LL CRY TOGETHER AND EAT A WHOLE BUCKET OF OREO FUDGE ICE CREAM WHILE WATCHING TOMMY WISEAU'S MASTERPIECE THE ROOM.  
CG: AND IT WILL BE GLORIOUS BEYOND ALL RECOGNITION!  
CG: HOW DOES THAT SOUND?  
AA: ...  
AA: youve have been spending WAY too much time with dave lately  
CG: EXCUSE YOU, STRIDER HAS NOTHING ON MY INHERENT DRY WIT.  
CG: SO, YOU IN FOR THE NIGHT OF YOUR LIFE?  
AA: how can i resist such an offer <3  
CG: <3  
  
\-- apocalypseArisen [AA] ceased pestering carcinoGeneticist [CG] at 20:03 -- 

When Aradia arrived via her old maroon bicycle twenty minutes later, she was awestruck by the hurriedly placed party favor bamboo shoots scattered awkwardly across the front lawn of the Vantas home. Brand new plastic flamingos awaited her as she quickly grabbed the paper bag filled with her illict goods from the basket and carefully hopped on the walkway to the patio with care to avoid slipping on her beach sandals.

 

She got to the front door and after huffily scratching her eyebrows being tickled by the reeds of her straw hat, she rang the doorbell. Not even a second passed before the door was swung open by Karkat, who was indeed wearing a helmet with a lava lamp clumsily duct tapped on. Honestly, the lava lamp complimented his cancer bathrobe surprisingly well.

 

Aradia only noticed this later after she wiped away the tears caused by sudden paralyzing laughter from her eyes.

 

Karkat was nice enough to smile in his more typical self-degrading nature.

 

Yeah, they made the right call.

  
][ /V\ 69 ][  



End file.
